A few months after completing my state-mandated ethics training and earning a perfect score on the review quiz, I received a letter from the Office of Executive Inspector General telling me I "have not appropriately complied with the training as required by law." Included in the envelope was a nine-page document with instructions to read it carefully, sign the Certification form, and return it to my Ethics Training Administrator.
My offense, as with so many of us noncompliant folks, was completing the online training too quickly. I've since been told this is designed to be a one-hour program.
I have several questions here...
What level of intelligence does it take so that reading and comprehending nine pages of relatively straightforward material requires one hour? Are the majority of our state employees truly so lacking in basic reading and comprehension skills? That's a scary thought.
Are the majority of our state employees unaware that it's wrong to ask for reimbursement for a haircut? That it's unethical to go about campaigning at work? That we can't take money from people vying for state contracts? If this is someone's first exposure to such basic principles--well, that notion is even more frightening.
How ethical would it be for me to devote an hour of "state-compensated time" to a task that I can conscientiously complete in less than half that time? Which, theoretically, would take time and attention away from the tasks for which I am, in fact, being compensated. Though in my particular case, I am not paid by the hour but rather by the job I do. Which means I routinely put in more than the (apparently) expected 40-hour week, so I can't exactly say for sure which hours belong to whom.
And what form of logic does it take to say, "You didn't take long enough on the test we were able to time you on, so we don't trust your ethics. Now we're going to trust your word that you have read the enclosed material carefully."?
For my part, I've re-read the material carefully. I've read it carefully enough to mark it up. Someone in that office could use a primer on correct comma placement.
I shall, of course, submit my Certification form so as to avoid "disciplinary action, up to [and] including termination of state employment." But I'm waiting until tomorrow. I didn't want to turn it in too quickly for fear they would come back with "You took only one week to complete the required training. This is designed to be a two-week program."
I got a chuckle out of this post. Same thing happened to my husband. He was pretty ticked...but ethically ticked, of course.
the simple solution is to use a large pool of questions and pull randomly from that pool. 100 or so should be enough to prevent cheating...
What agency? I got one of these and was one of the people who filed suit over it. They're planning on putting a timer in the training to keep you from going to fast.
The Deputy OIEG said that "mastery of the material is not what is important, it is taking the training". Only in Illinois can the individual in charge of ethics training say that the point is not actually knowing ethics, it's keeping your web browser open long enough...
--
j
Part-Time Pundit
You should do what I did: leverage the time alotted to that silly test to get something important done. My penny stocks were going up Up UP from the hot tips I sent out over the botnets acquired with my free University Internet access, so I called my bookie up on my office phone. I mean, with the governor spending my retirement money, I gotta make up the slack somehow. The dude put me on hold, so I put him on speaker and took the downtime to canvas a few of the Democrat party faithful, asking if they knew how great the Green and Socialist Workers candidates were. You don't suppose that last part was unethical, do you? I mean, it's not like I lied to them, really.
I don't get what all the fuss is about. My secretary said the questions were easy. I'm glad she didn't do it wrong, because I'd hate to fire her over taking some test too fast. And she was happy with all the overtime she pulled down that month -- and man, was she grateful (wink, wink). But this all kinda makes me wonder why it took her six hours to do each test. I think maybe she's crooked. One more mistake like being late with my dry cleaning and I'll have to let her go. My friend's niece needs a job, anyway.
(For the satire-challenged: the above is untrue. I would never call Democrats!)
(For the satire-challenged: the above is untrue. I would never call Democrats!)
Wait, you mean that wasn't you on the phone asking for answers to the ethics test?
Why would I do that? That would have been unethical.
Why would I do that? That would have been unethical.
Well, as long as you were bribing at an appropriate living wage level, it should have been OK. Anything less would have been oppressive and socially unjust.
Fun fact about the ethics law... you can accept bribes, as long as they are under $75/day for a total of a little over $24,000 a year.
--
j
Part-Time Pundit
Are you accusing me of being an immoral and oppressive offerer of inappropriately small bribes? I take great umbrage. Umbrage, I take. Greatly.
Minimum wage is what, $2.50 an hour? That seems like a lot of money to pay for a bribe, what with having to fund our own retirement and everything. Maybe I really am an immoral and oppressive offerer of inappropriately small bribes, after all.
How depressing. This whole ethics thing has really affected me. I think I have Post Ethics Test Stress Disorder.
I wonder if I can get Workman's Comp.
"Fun fact about the ethics law... "
Hey, wait a minute! Why isn't that part in my Ethics Orientation document? All they're owning up to here is "Foor or drink that does not exceed $75 per day."