After reading the New York Times articles from last week about the unaffair and today about the unqualification, I thought I'd take a crack at breaking their story for next week that combines these two elements. My apologies up front.
After two weeks of assaults by various people regarding his fidelity to his marriage and whether he is qualified under the Constitution to be President, John McCain found another trouble at his doorstep this week. Sources have told the New York Times that McCain's mother Roberta had an "interesting" relationship with a Panamanian busboy during her time in the Canal Zone with her husband.
According to the sources, John McCain, Jr. (alleged father of Sen. McCain) and Roberta McCain would often have meals at the Officers' Club on base. When McCain, Jr. would be called away from the Club for business, Mrs. McCain would often be seen having "friendly" conversations with the Panamanian busboy who routinely worked her table. Said one source, "You just rarely saw the wives of officers be so friendly with the natives. Looking back at it, it makes you wonder just what was going on." Said another source, "Roberta was always friendly, so I never thought anything of it." But that same source said that Mrs. McCain never denied the existence of an inappropriate relationship with the busboy.
While Sen. McCain bears little in the way of Latin features, there is no doubt that his fiery temper bears a striking similarity to that shown by a number of Latinos. "You just don't see the average white guy get so testy," said Columbia University Prof U. R. Huami. "One certainly has to wonder just whose blood is running through his veins."
When asked about the relationship, Roberta McCain said, "Go to hell.", never fully addressing the allegation and leading more people to question whether there was indeed an inappropriate relationship.
Sen McCain, when asked whether he would exhume the body of his deceased father of 27 years to attempt to get DNA evidence that would lay this story to rest said, "If we pull him out of his grave, I'm putting you in it." Once again, the refusal to address this issue head on, combined with his adamant refusal to admit to an affair that many believe happened, have left the McCain campaign reeling.
Talk about as low as you go, this is pathetic. Attacking him before he was born. His mother and father, If this comes back to either Obama or Clinton, wow.
"You don't see the average white guy so testy" Can you imagine? Oh, Columbia, now I see.
He scored points with his response. Exhume his fathers body, geez., this sh.. is crazy. Why havn't I seen this on tv yet. This is what they live for.
Hey ractivist, did I make it clear this was parody?
:-) Yes, because the major thing the Scottish/Irish are known for is their reasonable, even tempers...
My, you are so convincing, given what comes across the tube I am pleasently surprised. Did you hear the aliens have landed in DC, or was it there just living there already, occupying famous people. So hard to determine truth from fiction today. :-)
Actually, the above story looks more like the type of racist crap that Bush's camp spread around during the 2000 election about McCain's "mulatto love child". Thank God Republicans had the principal to support McCain over Bush ;)
I remember about ten years ago when Republicans wouldn't shut up about this being a country of laws, not men. Well, the Constitution is the ultimate law of this land, and it says you cannot be president unless you're a natural-born citizen. If McCain was born in Panama and therefore not a natural-born citizen, he is ineligible. The law is the law, right Republicans? Better put Keyes on alert in case you need him to swoop in at the last minute to go up against Obama one more time.
The NYT article on McCain's relationship with a female lobbyist was weak and misguided, but the article covering the question of his eleigibility is merely a review of the issue with some interesting quotes from legal scholars and statements of support from fellow Republicans. How, exactly, does this constitute an attack on McCain?
Although I won't rave about your attempt at satire, you duped ractivist -- an unintentional bonus that I greatly enjoyed.
I'm with xian, the new york times is about at the same level as the average political hack from south carolina.
Anon 3:37 (moron) thinks that's a real story. Anon 3:05 is also a stooge who fails to realize McCain was born in U.S. territory.
What I find interesting about this is the fact that NYT endorsed McCain as the GOP candidate. You mean they didn't know this place of birth issue then, or is it a case of their reporters not reading the NYT like the majority of the nation?
"What I find interesting about this is the fact that NYT endorsed McCain as the GOP candidate. You mean they didn't know this place of birth issue then, or is it a case of their reporters not reading the NYT like the majority of the nation?" It's sort of like when you right-wingers thought you could benefit by endorsing someone like Kucinich.
Funny, I've heard of this issue before, and the only people raising it were from the Right. Admittedly, they were the crazy, Ron Paul sort.
Military installation in the Canal Zone--U. S. Bases and Embassies in foreign countries are United States Territory, look it up. The only good thing about all of this like Marks story, most voters will be so tired of all this crap they won’t believe anything these people say during the election.
Mark,
<giggle> Very enjoyable read. Thanks for taking the time to craft it.
Kem
Think that could be why Hucks hangn in, or is he thinkn the pressure could take a toll on Johns heart, maybe.......he's got us all duped, tooo
Shelden is implying in effect that McCain is a B*st*rd, which is a truism not requiring DNA evidence. The GOP ought to wake up and embrace any pretext which would allow them to dump Sidney.
Mark's post is a satire, people!
IP,
It's really, really sad that you need to point that out. Pardon me while I go have a good cry about the failure of our education system to teach people to think while they read.
Kem
McCain should reply: Yes I was born in what should have been the 55th state if what wasnt for liberals like Jimmy Carter giving away the Panama Canal!!!!
The really sad thing here is that our media is quite capable of running with this type of thing, as in, it is par for the course of todays thrash and trash. A 2008 version of "war of the words", ala Orson Wells, aka Mark Shelden. I guess one should read the fine print, verses the scan. But, I'd bet you something of this extreme nature will pop up in one camp or the other. Cry away JK, I'm sure you can shed a Croc or two.
55th state when did they add the other 7?
Lets see- Cuba (Bay of Pigs as a success story), Israel (with the money we send...), and Alberta-Canada (for the oil, screw the health care!), Mexico north of Mexico City (all above rationales),
So, please tell me, have you actually read the Constitution yourself? Or are you leaving that one up to the experts to interpret that for you? How crass of you to attack a man, Keyes, who only joined a campaign out of a request to do so. Are you so simple minded that you can't see the forest for the trees? Or does someone have to explain that one to you as well? Obama came from no where and won! How stupid are the people of Illinois to continue to back Obama, when he came from no where, did nothing, then used them as a footstool to head to Washington? Mr. Keyes, has honor and integrity and knows what he speaks of because he has researched his topic himself. Keyes, is a man of honor so leave him out of this dog fight!
55th state when did they add the other 7?
RDF. :D