When the Wrong Friend Writes Your Obituary

  So... My policies are despicable??

I wish more obits were written in this interesting style.  This one had many highlights.  She and her son Chris both add "color" to the local scene, each in their own unique way.

Okay, let me explain the comical irony to you humorless libs.

She spoke of others only in positive tones-except for those horrible conservative Republicans. Even though she had contempt for conservative Republicans, she embraced life with a positive attitude and was able to see life through a comical lens, except of course as it applied to conservative Republicans.  And of course, she was free of prejudice of any kind, if you discount her preconceived contempt for conservative Republicans.

Ah, the liberal mindset.

To Janet Planet. You seem pretty hung up on the conservative bashing. You should have done the usual Palin style response and attacked her for actually meeting Dick Gregory.

News flash. Some people don't like conservatives. Similarly, some people don't like liberals. Me, I personally like anyone who has appeared on a Playboy cover, but that's just me, I guess. Now that I think of it, I would really like to see Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin inside Playboy. I would buy that issue!

Now that I think of it, I would really like to see Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin inside Playboy. I would buy that issue!

News flash!  Nobody buys Playboy anymore.

And to Wayward, relax, nobody reads IP anymore either.

I disagree with the other commenters.  This was great.  Very entertaining.  I hope I have a friend who can write up a obit like this when I go.  It made me laugh and scared me into smoking.  Entertaining and educational.  Brilliant.  haha.  Thanks for sharing.

but I do wonder why someone would write an obituary that included such things.

The obit looks like it was written by Christopher Evans, her son. Chris is, well, "different". Apparently, just like his momma. But it sure looks like she had fun, and after all, isn't that what it's all about?

Despite suffering great hardships at times, she learned to forgive everyone who ever hurt her, and spoke about others in only positive terms - except conservative Republicans - whose policies she found despicable. Susan accepted responsibility for her mistakes and was remarkably free from prejudice of any kind.

What's the big deal? She may have had good, factual reasons for being negative about people "whose ploicies she found despiciable." That is NOT the same thing as prejudice.

God bless her and her survivors. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she may have found that the Lord shares her negativity about people with despicable policies.

God bless her and her survivors. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she may have found that the Lord shares her negativity about people with despicable policies.

Which policies are those?  If you're talking about the despicable policy of aborting babies, that's the liberals who support that.  What do you think the Lord will have to say about that?

Dear Right Friend,

During this week that 250 more Iraquis were blown up by car bombs, (it's okay, though, they were probably just a bunch of "insurgents"), 4 more U.S. soldiers were killed (bringing the body count to what? 5000?), and we're leaving our multi-billion dollar investment in Iraq (not counting the 130,000 plus soldiers who will remain in Iraq); congratulating ourselves on a well-done piece of revenge for 9/11, I just ain't in the mood to debate all the reasons why mom didn't like the Reagan/Bush/Neo-Con oil barons.

All I can say for now is, Susan Evans, regular ol' U.S. Citizen, had a prominent characteristic of being vocal about her disdain for policies she said were destructive and hypocritical. Thems were her opinions- and like yours- everybody's got 'em. Mom would never shy away from reciting her reasons for disliking the Bush Crowd (and yes, she referred to them as "a--holes".) Her daily habit of reading the newspaper kept her able to provide specific reasons why she used such unlady-like language. You, Right Friend, would have enjoyed debating her at the shop, over some of her delicious stuffed mushrooms.

And ain't it grand, John? To have the First Amendment to debate, obituaries even; to say whatever we want, even if it's "wrong" or "illogical"? I noticed the appearance of a contradiction too: despising a group of people like Conservative Republicans can't possibly qualify as being "remarkably free from prejudice." Those goofy liberals, they'll say anything. But it wasn't the group "Conservative Republicans" that mom hated, John, she hated what they did in terms of legislation and action. Hence, the use of the word: policies in the obit.

The use of the word prejudice in the obit was meant to convey the undeniable fact that mom would talk and interact with anybody. No really. Like, going to the grocery store with her meant long talks in the aisle with total strangers about the meat selection today. She was always yapping to somebody about whatever- no matter who they were, where they came from, or how old they might have been. To be honest, I found this type of socializing irritating most of the time, (it seemed like chatter about nothing that slowed us down from our chores), but she loved talking to folks and never paid my whining any mind. Remembering her, I had to admit, she was one of the freest birds in the forest that way. Perhaps in conservative republican circles, to be free from pre-judging other people means also to never criticize your government. I don't know, really, how things are done on the golf course.

Mom would expect me to forgive you for the "wrong friend" crack in your title, cause God knows, I've tried to be funny and missed by a mile myself alot more than you have. Humor is a delicate thing, and as you found out, the audience can be tough. 

 If you would like to find out more about Susan M. Evans, John, you are more than welcome to come to the celebration of her life at the Old Vic Art Gallery, Saturday, July 25, from 1:00 p.m.- 4:00 p.m. Dress is very casual, and we're having refreshments. There will be an art show of the images and paintings she displayed in her home. You might enjoy it.

Mom wouldn't mind you noticing her obituary and she would have likely criticized my choice of phrasing for more reasons than you. So you shouldn't think you did anything wrong by criticizing the obituary. I would encourage other families to tell us more about their loved ones in the obits (If you can afford it.) Everybody has a story to tell. And everybody is entitled to their opinions- no matter their mind-set. 

chris evans- son of the deceased 

The day I read this obituary, I emailed it to an out-of-town friend, along with one appearing the same day for Keyth Carter.  I think I titled the email "Two People I Wish I'd Known". 

For years I lived within blocks of the Old Vic gallery, and passed it every time I walked downtown.  What a treasure I missed by not ever stopping and having the opportunity to meet and talk to Susan Evans. 

As for Mr. Carter, I saw him often working in yards and gardens in my neighborhood and had no idea what a truly interesting fellow he was.  It's obvious that our community has lost two very individual people. 

I can only hope to live an interesting enough life that someone would write a great obituary for me.  Maybe someone would read it and say, "Wow, I wish I'd known her.  What a fun lady", just as I felt after reading about the life of Susan Evans.  Tho I think my window of opportunity to appear in Playboy has passed me by, alas. 

I can't let Janet Planet's little "Aha" bust of my snide prejudicial remark about the powerful often play golf be the last word on the subject.

Janet is "right", if the literal is all that mattered. My comment about the golf course was a stereotype about conservative republicans. And Janet is so "right" that not all conservative republicans play golf, nor are wealthy enough to enjoy the fine sport of golf. Boy, did she ever catch me.

But Janet Planet is also right to point out that me assuming, as my snide comment indicates, the lawyer John Bramfeld is some callous, rich hypocrite swinging a stick at a ball not caring about a damn thing, is a complete personal assumption about the lawyer, John Bramfeld, I have no right to make and is a gross form of prejudice in itself. It does appear that being called the "wrong friend" had me writing out of hurt over that comment, rather than sticking to the point of my mom's First Amendment right to criticize her government as my post tried to indicate- a thought I believe Mr. Bramfeld shares. 

Having now read through some of Mr. Bramfeld's blog, and his other posts, I immediately recognize him to be a very intelligent man, who has some asute insights that I share, particularly as it relates to this bailout nonsense for the banks the feds are doing with our tax money.

I also must recognize Mr. Bramfeld sincerely respected my mom's obiturary and my mom's life. I take no offense, nor would my mom, at Mr. Bramfeld's observations about the unusualness of the obit itself, and the intellectual contradictions therein. He really did nothing wrong, and would everyone take the time to read the obits; we might appreciate our history and the lives of other people much better. I believe Mr. Bramfeld noticed something interesting in the paper, and simply shared it with an audience. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever. 

That resolved, Mr. Bramfeld's errant assumptions that mom could not have possibly held a positive attitude about life, did not see life through a comical lens, and did not embrace all people right where she was at, in that moment, is simply not true; and is completely unrelated from the fact she spoke negatively about Reagan and Bush's. Mom did not like the photographs coming out of Abu Graib, did not like the way the fat cat New York bankers got a big welfare check for poor money management, how our government never did arrest Osama Bin Laden, or the way Afghanistan produced record heroin crops after our invasion. And she summarized her dislike for such things by calling President Bush a "crazy right winger". Maybe she shouldn't have done that all the time. I hope you can understand, however, her loud mouth does not make my mom's daily approach to her job and life in any less true. Sometimes our allegiences to "the team", "our side", "right thinking", "logic", "common sense" can blur our sensitivities to reality. 

To me, it would be unwise to support Obama's policy of supressing photographs of military personel abusing prisoners of war in the name of "security", or Obama's policy of bailing out the banks even more, or Obama's continuation of the drug war at a time when the states cannot afford imprisoning all the inmates such policies cause. That's the stuff of legitimate debate and if liberals were to accuse me of being a "racist", or a "sell out", all because I did not support all of the President's initiatives, they would be wrong to do so. That's the error, Janet Planet was right to point out in my post: we can't assume stuff about each other, or belittle each other, just because we disagree with one another about how to tax and legislate ourselves. Hey, I gotta pay the same power bill you do. 

You, whoever "you" are, can belittle me that I have "issues" when I express my family's concern for policy and governance. Mom taught me to keep an eye on Springfield, keep an eye on Washington- it might affect me one day. Though I avoided being ever drafted into military service, though I never was overtaxed for owning something, mom said I should care about it nonetheless. That's the legacy she left, and I could not summarize her life without it. Perhaps I could have said it better, but it cost $275 to print that obit, and I had to get to the points quickly- admittedly, with so much left out, and perhaps with a rude comment that needn't be there. 

I apologize if Conservative Republicans felt threatened by my mom's negativity, no harm intended. I appreciate the Illini Pundit website for its terrific forum for free expression, Janet Planet included. I think we can agree to disagree, and it's not a bit in our self-destruction to debate what ought to be done. We should all be grateful we have a place to let it out and let our views be heard. Even if it seems we are poking fun at obituaries.

chris evans- son of the deceased        

Having lost my mom recently, I know their a painful grieving process to go through... but reflecting on her finer moments will help. The Ole Vic downtown Champaign should be great a place to gather as we attend the tribute with some light jazz playing in the background and a cordless mic available to those who want to share thoughts of Susan... Sat afternoon 7/25, right?
All the best Chris
Duce